Looking for the person of my dreams has become nearly
impossible, as it seems I have nearly ceased having dreams. The dreams I do
have are empty and riddled with misappropriated fear of impending violence, and
lack depth or colorful emotion. Clue me in, mind.
People, in general, like me well enough it seems, but I
don’t know if I feel how it’s supposed to feel when they do. I feel like a
collection of meta-data, robotic in my emotions unless the fuzzy feeling wind
of intoxicants blows over my mind, as it is wont to do from time-to-time. The
weird-ling man without a plan mopes about like a lost dog. Sniffing out
something worth anything to his heart and soul, he usually comes up clutching
tufts of his own hair.
I was once asked, exactly at the point the collection of my
emotional connection to this person didn’t pan out, the fool’s gold, the fool
circle, “Who hurt you?”
Shit. She got me. Snatched my tongue from my mouth and disconnected the delicate tendrils that were beginning to grow between it, and my heart, and her.
Thanks, I guess.
Shit. She got me. Snatched my tongue from my mouth and disconnected the delicate tendrils that were beginning to grow between it, and my heart, and her.
Thanks, I guess.
I didn’t have an answer. I had a notion. Was it something to
do with childhood and broken beds, broken vows? Was my sensuality torn asunder
by others’ demons clawing their way out to their own destruction? Could be. Who
knows?